About Me

*IMPORTANT* I do NOT claim that what works for me works for everyone with any illness. I believe you need to listen to licensed medical professionals if you are seeking advice and treatment. I do take medications for my condition but only as prescribed and I do understand that I will most likely be on medications for the rest of my life. Part of what lead to my hospitalization was self-medicating and I know I NEVER want to go to that dark place again. This blog is just part of my own personal therapy but I want to share it with the world because I feel it can help with understanding illness especially mental illness.

My name is Stephanie but I often go by a nickname I’ve had since high school of “Steppie Lee”. I’m 25 years old and was born and raised in Denver, Colorado. My boyfriend and I volunteered 12 hours for the campaign to go see BarackObama accept his nomination at Invesco Field at Mile High in my hometown. I voted for Barack Obama previous to my hospitalizations and used slogans from his campaign as both cries of help and ways to interact with other patients. This is my story. The following are statements to understand who I am.
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I just want to be me.

I am a beautiful intelligent scientist.

I am a mammal first and a human being second. (I have “grooming behavior” such as brushing my hair calms me.)

I love sunshine and nature.

I need to be here now.

I will NOT let my medical condition define me.

I know that “hope” and “change” are coming and it’s going to get better.

I want to help.

I know that I am just a translator between “their” (mental illness) world and the “normal” (Or “normies” as my aunt calls them) world… whatever that may be.

I know that I am still trying to figure this out but this part of my therapy.

Life is a puzzle and I am just trying to find the missing pieces now. I may not be able to find all the pieces and that is okay.

I use unique and bizarre pop culture references as well as made up words to describe my condition.

I can’t change the world with cookies but I can certainly try.

I want to meet Barack Obama, Cesear Milan, Dali Lhama, Dara Torres and more people that inspire me. Not now but someday.

Somedays are when I am a little bit “crazy” and some days I am a little bit “zombie” but they are all good days. I have bipolar and function with some level of mania.

I take my medications and follow doctor’s orders.

I try to eat healthy and try to drink as much water as possible.

I have OC tendencies but I can usually work on making it a positive instead of a negative.

My memory is getting better, there are whole days on end I don’t remember in the hospital and leading up to my stay in the hospital.

Music helps me function better especially familiar music that I can sing along to. (examples “Me and Mia” by Ted Leo and the Pharmacists and the cover of Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” by Clem Snide) It also helped those around me, I played The Weakerthans album Reconstuction Site at the hospital to help other patients.